Thursday, November 10, 2011

Iron Eagle [VHS]

Iron Eagle [VHS]

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Iron Eagle [VHS] Review

Little Doug Masters (Jason Gedrick) has an Air Force pilot for a father, an incredibly irresponsible father who has been allowing him to fly training missions since, evidently, Doug hit puberty. The kid has more simulator time than anyone on base (wherever that may be). He's so into flying that he has a club of fellow high school aviators - officers' kids - who take their personal planes out on the weekends for fun...and to race paint-huffing morons on dirt-bikes through treacherous mountains. He's a whiz at flying (but not acting). Doug's happy little world halts when he finds out that not only did his application to the Air Force Academy get denied, but his father was also shot down, captured, and scheduled for a hanging in an undisclosed Middle Eastern country.

Doug enlists the help of his flying buddies (two of which are Styles from Teen Wolf and the gay dude from Revenge of the Nerds) to hatch a rescue plan. Along the way he manages to get the help of a retired Air Force Colonel named Chappy Sinclair (Louis Gossett Jr.) who just happens to have flown with Doug's father. After the two find out that the U.S. government has their hands tied in red tape, Col. Chappy decides to put a plan into action. He'll require the considerable talents, connections, and tricks of each member of the flight club. They'll have to steal maps, get top secret armament information of the enemies, hack into government computers to get F16s with enough ammo (and flight plans) to take on an entire Arab country, and exploit every moron the Air Force could possible assemble on one facility in order to save Doug's father.

After all the training, the shenanigans, and the ubiquitous 80s montage in which Louis Gossett Jr. shakes it to an old jukebox, the training mission gets the go ahead, and it's up to Doug and Chappy to rescue Doug's father from the evil, Arab terrorists (and not face long-term prison when and if they get back).

If that isn't the most preposterous, far-fetched, Ben-Affleck-in-Armageddon-ridiculous premise for a movie, then someone has to fill me in on what tops it.

This movie is one of the most enjoyably improbable movies of all time. It's a classic from that period of the 80s when there seemed to be no rules, and movies were made for pure, silly entertainment. Shut your brain off for two hours and just enjoy the good guys getting the better of the bad guys in a movie less believable than James Van Der Beek's accent in Varsity Blues.

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